I used to love summer as a kid. As May turned to June, academic achievement in school was replaced with endless play.
I’d board the bus to day camp each and every day, my backpack heavy and my eyes shining. I was a solar battery and the bright, hot sun charged me up and out of my fall-winter-spring stupor. I swam in the pool, I never wore sunscreen (sorry, Mom and Dad), I danced and licked Push Pops, I lived each and every day like it would be summer forever. The season felt like a wide expanse that would never end until it did and I was back at school, back in my normal life and routine.
As a kid, I didn’t think too much about how the adults in my life experienced this same season. Their lifestyles - the jobs, the stress, the responsibility - still felt so far away. It seemed like I’d be a child forever - someone would always be there to feed me, get me where I needed to be, and pay for whatever I needed. The essential items for existing were always there, I just had to worry about having a good time.
The gradient from adolescence into adulthood was a steady one. Petty dramas became relationship-ending arguments. Internships became full-time jobs. Everything I said and did began to hold more significance. Adulthood came with autonomy and a wariness around the way I wielded my choices. My actions (or lack of action) were now consequential. Fun was no longer my primary motivator - I was now responsible for the first few rungs of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. And summer began to feel different from how it used to.
While I used to spend entire days outside in the heat, I can barely stomach a few hours now. I’ve gotten heat exhaustion one too many times that venturing outside requires substantial physical and emotional preparation. I must carry sunscreen, a water bottle filled with icy water, a sun visor, and a snack in case of low blood sugar.
Rather than leaving the safety of my home, I opt to stay inside most of the time. My weekdays and weekends alike are spent inside a climate controlled building (either my office or my apartment building). I inevitably feel guilty for not taking advantage of the warm weather and long days. If I do decide to brave the outdoors, I know that it’ll likely set me back on housework, budgeting, and errands.
I’ve been considering my former love of summer, and what I enjoyed so much about it. I most missed summer camp and its steady curriculum of athletics, arts, new friendships, and the overall sense of play.
In this reflection, I realized I unintentionally had a very camp-like week recently. I saw friends almost every night. I took an embroidery class, a writing class, and tennis lessons. I went to, not one, but two barbecues where I met new people.
Of course, not every week will be like this - I admittedly fell behind on chores and spent a bit too much money. But it helped me realize those things that I missed at camp are still out there, I just need to try harder to find them. In order to enjoy the summer (or any other season), I have to play the role that my parents once played in researching, organizing, and preparing me for those days. In my search, I just might find something even better than day camp in the suburbs.
Thanks for being here! Below are a few things I’ve enjoyed recently.
- . I felt myself nodding along to every sentence. I especially loved the following lines:
Perhaps confidence isn’t something to be built; it's right under the surface when that heavy bulk of needing to be someone is lifted. Embracing being no one helped me feel authentic and confident, which, in my opinion, is way cooler than any expensive-looking sweater.
We Should All Talk to Strangers by
. Consider this my mid-year resolution to talk to more strangers.The Dear Prudence podcast from Slate. I love listening to people’s problems when they have zero implications for me. And I love feeling like a wise sage. This podcast (and probably most other advice podcasts lol) satisfies both!
Wishing you a fresh and fun summer,
Mia
i love this and recently reflected on summer too. it's so special and i don't think just because we're adults we should enjoy it any less. i love what you wrote<3
and thank you for the mention!!! xxx